13.8.10

whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

July 10, 2010
Haha…what an incredible day (in the worst way possible). I’m just happy that I am laughing now, instead of crying. Currently, I am sitting in a Presbryan waiting for my overnight train ride to Skellefteå. Yes, that’s right, an overnight train. I was supposed to be home by noon today, but now it’s 8pm and I’m still 11 hours away. I knew the bad feelings I was having on Thursday were a bad sign!

The fiasco began at 3:45 in the morning in St. Petersburg when my taxi driver (arranged by the orchestra staff) didn’t know which airport to take me to, and spoke a very, very small amount of English. All I knew was my ticket confirmation number and that I was supposed fly to Moscow, then Stockholm. We “discussed” this for about 10 minutes…meaning I tried to explain my situation and he spoke in Russian. Eventually he just said “ok, ok”, and I held my backpack tightly on my lap, praying that I was heading the right direction.

We arrived at the airport, and the driver motioned for me to stay in the car. I didn’t understand him at first, and started to gather my things, but he finally found the word and said “wait”. I sat in the car, clutching my backpack even tighter, while the driver went into the airport. Looking back on it...his kind and helpful efforts would be the last that I would see for the next 12 hours.

He returned to the cab and wrote the numbers 8 and 9 on a paper trying to tell me that these were the two check-in lines I could use. Then he pointed at a door to enter the airport. I graciously and whole-heartedly thanked him for his assistance. I grabbed my luggage and began walking towards the airport. I soon heard a hook and looked back at the taxi driver. He was waving his arms to the right…I was going in the wrong section of the terminal! I turned, found the correct door, and waved to him again. I really wish I could send him a thank you card.

The airport was small and dirty. I checked in and the woman said that I would need to reclaim my bags in Moscow before checking into my next flight. I only had a 50 minute lay-over, so I was already getting nervous. Then, to get to my gate I had to venture through a long dark passage that went under the runway. The escalators and “people movers” were turned off and the hallway looked as if it was abandoned years ago…very creepy, so I made sure to walk as fast as possible! The passageway ended at a small, glass, circular building in the middle of the tarmac. There were about 500 bright blue, metal seats with the numbers 1-6 posted above the surrounding doors. I situated myself in a seat with my luggage between my legs, backpack in my lap, and cymbal case next to me with the strap around my wrist. It was about 5am, and my flight was at 6:15am. I fought my drooping eyelids to the best of my ability.

The flight to Moscow was about 1.5 hours. I wanted to sleep so badly, but my body felt sick and overly exhausted. I didn’t drink at the farewell party because of this flight, but I mine as well have chugged 10 beers! I felt horrible!

When we landed in Moscow I did my best to fight the crowd to collect my bags quickly. But, that never does any good, and I still had to wait forever for the bags to arrive on the belt. I piled everything onto a cart, and went towards a sign that said “International Transfers”. I asked the man guarding the hallway if it was the correct direction. He didn’t speak English and had to find someone else to help me. This man directed me upstairs. I followed the instructions and stared at the departure board.

No Stockholm?

I went to the information desk to ask about my dilemma, she insincerely looked up my flight, and said that I had to go to Terminal F. “Follow the signs. 20 minute walk” she instructed me. I had about 40 minutes to make it. So, I ran, walked hastily, and then ran again. Pushing 3 weeks of clothes, my cymbals/sticks/mallets/tambourine/etc, plus full backpack (computer) was not enjoyable. I made it to the right terminal and frantically scanned the departure board once again.

No Stockholm.

What?! I found a nearby information desk. She said that I needed to go to check-in desks 13-20 that now read “New York”. 25 minutes to make it. I put all my luggage through the scanners (weird) and approached desk 18. I gave presented my passport and the woman gave me a curious look. “Gate closed” she coldly remarked. I explained my situation, and that my tardiness wasn’t my fault. I still had time; I could rush through security and make it. Right? Wrong. The woman spoke to the neighboring employee for a minute before turning to me to say that check-in closes for each flight 40 minutes before takeoff and that I wasn’t allowed to pass. Seriously!? I couldn’t believe what was happening. I gave one last final plea as she pointed behind me and said “Exit”. I couldn’t stop the tears from consuming my face.

My emotions overtook me as I tried to figure out what to do. I went back to the information desk to ask about getting a new flight to Stockholm. She said she couldn’t help me. I had to talk to a SAS (Scandinavian Airlines) representative. I tried to find their office, which was at the very end of the terminal. It was closed until 3pm. It was around 8am. Am I supposed to just sit here all afternoon?! I returned to the information desk and asked her to look up any flights to the Sweden/Norway/Denmark region. She said that there was another flight to Stockholm at 5:20pm. I had to get on that flight!

I approached numerous other ticket windows to ask for help, but I either got a cold shoulder, an angry “No English” reply, or a “go to SAS counter” explanation. Since my phone wasn’t working (I tried numerous times to call the orchestra staff, but it wouldn’t connect), I got out my laptop, and searched for some wireless internet.

I eventually found a corner in the terminal with an outlet and a weak, but free, wireless internet signal. I emailed the orchestra staff, Arvid, and my parents (I knew they couldn’t do anything, but I figured they would want to know what was happening…just incase all of my stuff got stolen and I was abducted by some crazy mafia guy). I also looked up the Stockholm flight on the internet and suggested that the orchestra staff book the flight for me. I figured that they were all still partying, or sleeping off the partying, so I rested my head on my bags, making sure everything valuable was attached to me, to try and get an hour or so of rest, or at least an hour or so of no tears.

I woke up and made another trip around the terminal to see if I could think of another idea out of the mess. I hadn’t gotten any replies from my mails, so I sat down at a T.G.I.Fridays (just to feel like home) to force down some food. I found myself getting emotional once again…no one turned a head or blinked an eye. Feeling so helpless was awful!

I barely ate a thing, but decided to make it back to “my corner” with the free Wi-Fi to check my email. I heard from Arvid, and we talked on Skype. I got really upset, and I know he was as well. Then, I had a response in my inbox from Alexa. She sincerely apologized, and said that the flight she found online did leave at 5:20pm, but was controlled by Aeroflot. She also said that she couldn’t make the booking online because they had a 24 hour rule for internet services. I had already asked the workers at the Aeroflot desk for assistance, but they couldn’t understand me and refused. I waited in line again praying for another result.

This time the woman spoke English. For the millionth time I asked for a ticket to Stockholm. She asked me to speak very, very slowly, and eventually booked it, but said it was very expensive. I didn’t care; I knew that the orchestra had to pay me back for the cost. I handed her my card.

It didn’t work!

What?! I had just paid for my lunch with the card an hour before! This is insane! I just wanted to get out of there so badly. I gave her another card (my dad’s emergency card…I’m pretty sure this was an emergency). She said it was declined as well. This is impossible! I asked her if she could take Alexa’s card number if I came back with it. No. Can Alexa call you? No. The woman said that Alexa could book it online. NO, LADY! She can’t. I’ve been over this. The worker said that Alexa could access the booking with a specific code and then rudely shooed me away. I was beyond frustrated!!!

Back to my corner I went. I Skype messaged Alexa explaining the situation. She tried to access the booking, but we both were seriously confused and the website was no help. I returned to the ticket window, and the lady working had disappeared. She was the only one on staff that spoke English. Fabulous.

I suddenly saw the listing of the company’s help line and suggested that Alexa call it for some answers. About 15 minutes later I got a message from Alexa:

“I have to go to the Aeroflot office in St Petersburg to pay for this ticket in person. Just trying to locate it! Ah, it’s not far from here. Charge your computer, and I will let you know as soon as I have made the payment! Should be about half an hour or an hour from now. We will do it somehow! But I can’t be online there, probably, so wait for an update from us.
Hang in there. Help is on the way.
Best, Alexa”

Ok, so now I just needed to sit tight. It was about 12pm. I Skyped with Arvid and tried to keep myself calm. I just had to have to have faith that it would work out! However, as time passed I started to get panicky once again. At around 2:30pm I was officially nervous once again. Crazy thoughts were going through my head (maybe Alexa was in an accident?!) and I tried to form new solutions. Find another flight? Go to Germany? Finland? Somewhere that’s NOT Russia? Maybe another airline would take my credit card.

Suddenly, I heard an announcement stating that passengers on the Stockholm flight should begin checking in. Oh no, that's me! For some reason I picked up my phone (I hadn’t tried using it since the morning), and scrolled for Alexa’s number. Surprisingly, the automatic Swedish woman’s voice did not pick up and instead it began to ring!!! I couldn’t believe it. Hearing Alexa’s voice was surreal! She quickly exclaimed that they had just made it through the line, to the desk, and swiped the credit card. My ticket was confirmed! I proceeded straight for the check-in desks without looking back.

I had to wait in 4 long lines before sitting at my gate; one to scan all of my luggage, one to check in, one for passport control, and one for normal security. What. A. Pain. I was emotionally and physically exhausted, sweaty from the lack of air in the building, frustrated with the environment, but so happy to be on the other side of security. I have never been so happy to see a Swedish flight attendant as I was stepping onto that SAS flight. Tears of happiness almost exploded onto my face, and I’m sure the woman thought I was insane. I took my seat in business class, and a sense of calm finally came over me.

The 2.5 hour flight was easy and cozy (three business class seats to myself and a nice meal) and I was extremely happy to step foot on Swedish soul. However, I still needed to figure out how to get to Arvid in Skellefteå. I had a few options:

1. stay the night in Stockholm, take a 12:20pm flight to the north the next day (Sunday)

2. stay in Stockholm until Monday night. Arvid and I were flying home to Ohio on Tuesday morning.

3. take a 10 hour overnight train to the north. Arrive at 7am.

I decided that I wanted to go to Skellefteå before going home to Ohio because I needed to wash clothes, repack, and drop off all of the percussion equipment. I tried to get a bed at an airport hotel, but they were fully booked. I decided that the train would be the best since it would at least keep me moving, and put me in the north earlier than the flight.

So, now I’m just sitting in Uppsala waiting for the train to depart. I’ve never taken a train anywhere, so let’s just call this entire day a new adventure. I’m glad that the rough part is behind me, and just can’t wait to be with Arvid, and in a few days at home in America.

I don't think I'll be heading back to Russia anytime in the near future.

12.8.10

Last day of BYP tour

Today was all about making the sponsors happy. During this entire tour, I’ve been trying to figure out how this organization can pay for 100+ people to travel, eat, sleep, and get paid. Now, I understand.

The Baltic Youth is sponsored by a gas company called Nordstream. They are going to build a pipe line under the Baltic Sea that connects St. Petersburg, Gotland (I think), and Northern Germany. Sending 20-30 year old musicians around the Baltic countries playing concerts (of music composed by natives) is their way of unifying the region culturally. So, in other words…we are the poster kids for the corporation. Nothing like blindly supporting a huge environmental issue!

This final “hurrah” for the tour was an outdoor concert in the park adjacent to the Church of Spilled Blood (a famous cathedral…one with onion shaped towers and crazy colors!) The entire area was blocked off when we arrived, and we had to go through security to even enter the park. The stage was set up as if we were rock stars…intelligent lighting, massive video screens, and huge floral arrangements surrounding the proscenium. The VIP audience was given stadium seating, while the public had to stand about 100 yards away! (We realized later that it was because at the end of the concert there was a huge fireworks display in the field!)

The rehearsal on the stage was unbearably hot. Even Kristjan’s clothes were saturated with sweat. We were only playing the “B” program at this venue….so even though we are all on stage for the entire program, only half of the winds, brass, and percussion played on each piece. I have many photos of people sprawled out on the floor napping between and during each tune’s rehearsed (myself included)…may not have been the most professional thing, but rest was necessary given the conditions. We prayed that the weather wouldn’t be so bad for the concert.

The concert itself was so “Russian”. The VIPS (CEOs of Nordstream, Russian politicians, and other filthy rich ambassadors) filed into the area dressed formally and drinking champagne. Classical music was filling the area through some speakers as we waited to enter the stage.

The evening was initiated with numerous speeches given by the VIPs of the VIPs. Then, they invited 10 members of the orchestra (one from each of the countries represented in the group…not including America and New Zealand, haha) to plant a flower in the gardens in the park. It was very cheesy, symbolic and awkward! But, that’s show business!

At first, as we began to play, the crowd wasn’t responsive at all. However, as the progam progressed they loosened up, as did the orchestra. We played the program much better than in Riga, and I had a lot of fun. Following the 15 pieces representing this “cultural initiative” the firework display was huge! They played really loud groovy music through the sound system and everyone in the orchestra was dancing and sharing hugs and congratulatory remarks. It was quite a sight!

Immediately after the show, there was an outdoor reception along the walkway in the park. A massive amount of cold and warm food was served, along with some free champagne, wine, and vodka (of course!) I had a glass of champagne and chatted with some friends before the staff came around to collect everyone. We had to get to our actual dinner venue, and we were already running late (at this point it was about 11pm!) On our way to the dressing room and buses, Danish Maria and I were stopped by a VIP man and woman. They thanked us for our concert, asked a little about our studies, and then told us about the helicopter pad they just built near their house in Gotland. Good thing they told us about it, I have been looking for a place to store my helicopter in Sweden.

We were taken back to the hotel for a quick change quick of clothes, driven to a restaurant for dinner, then hauled to the river to board the “party boat”. We gave Kristjan and the staff a few gifts, and had what I call a “Kumbaya” moment…the people in charge said that they were so happy about the results and thanked us for our work…then everyone huged and felt good about the accomplishment. Gotta love the performing arts! As soon as all the mushy stuff was over, the boat docked so that the first group could head back to the hotel (it was now 2am) I had to leave because a taxi was to pick me up at the hotel at 3:45am.

When I got the hotel, I packed and showered and was in the lobby in plenty of time to meet my driver. Ellen had given me the license plate number and name of the driver to meet.

As soon as I stepped into that cab, the worst travel day you can imagine began….....

Inkling

I’m quiet upset right now. We were just given the travel information for Saturday. I am not only the first person to leave, but I have to fly to Moscow by myself before flying to Sweden. I’m so nervous; I’ve never felt so upset about being by myself before. It’s out of character for me to feel nervous about traveling, but after spending a few days here, I feel that this wariness is warranted. This is Russia, not Europe; a girl should not travel solo, especially if that girl is an American. Plus…the Russian and American spies were just traded a few days ago in Vienna, and this does not feel like a good time to go jet setting around this country (haha)! I don’t know what to do, I should have realized this before, but I didn’t look at my itinerary close enough before getting here (plus Moscow was spelled Moscau, which didn’t register right away!) I asked the staff about what I can do, and there really isn’t anything…besides go and be cool. I think I just need to sleep off this uneasiness…

Other than that it was a fine day in St. Petersburg. I can’t eat anything here, my stomach has been pretty messed up for the past few days and none of the food looks appetizing at all. We are served 2 course meals at the hotel restaurant, but I think all of this food made in mass amounts has taken its toll on my tummy (especially the food from the Estonian Motel!)…not to mention that the water is pretty gross, and I never feel clean after a shower!

The morning began with a rehearsal at the concert hall. It’s definitely the best one we’ve played in during this tour. One of the pieces only has one percussionist, so the rest of us took the hour to walk around. We saw the music school, the famous Mariinsky Theatre, and a huge statue of Rimsky-Korsakov. Then, as we made our way back, Leann ran up to me to tell me that John Malkovich was outside the concert hall. We have no reason why this actor was hanging out, but it was cool to see an American celebrity…

As soon as we returned to the hotel, Leann and I went to the front desk. Neither of our rooms had air-conditioning, and it was a miserablely hot night. Most of the other rooms were just fine, and it seemed ours were the only ones acting as saunas. I asked the front desk to switch us in the morning, but they said no, and just put a fan in our room. But, it was unacceptable, so we complained again, and this time they gave us new rooms. I guess they could take one American complaining, just not two! As soon as my roommate and I moved into the new room (that was just down the hall), we took the best naps ever!

It was a very short nap, though, since we had to be back on the buses at 5pm to go to the concert hall. We had another great concert! It was so surreal to play music by Russian composers in Russia….Tchaikovsky and Stravinsky would be proud! :) The audience was actually very responsive (we played all 3 encores), which is accomplishment considering the serious venue.

Tomorrow will be a packed last day. I’ve had a great time on tour, but am very eager to get back home. I hope that I can shake off these nerves soon, and everything goes well.

Toto, we’re not in Europe anymore

The line to check in for our charter flight to St. Petersburg took a couple hours, but it was nothing compared to what some of the orchestra members had to go through to get through Russian customs. Luckily, I’m not a string player. When we arrived at the hot, stuffy airport in Russia a lot more waiting occurred. Every string player had to provide documents to prove its authenticity to the customs officer and open their instrument cases for inspection. Evidently, the Russians are incredibly afraid that someone will bring a cheap instrument into the country and smuggle an expensive one out. Seems like a lot of trouble to me.

The non-string players were lucky and didn’t have to wait for hours in the line. We were loaded onto a few buses…ours of which was blocking some traffic. A taxi driver confronted our bus driver as we were boarding, and it was the first angry Russian yelling I’ve ever heard in person. Our photographer even took some pictures. This would prove to be an interesting few days indeed...

When everyone finally arrived at the hotel we were once again herded onto buses for a tour of the city. St. Petersburg is quite an incredible place. Every building is huge and overdone, the architecture is just insane. Our tour guide was a comically rude Russian woman that kept referring to us as “boys and girls” and then said she needed to “punish us” after we were a few minutes late returning to the bus at one of the stops. Near the end of the tour she had realized that we were an orchestra and said “Since you’re supposed to be musicians, have you ever heard of a man named Tchaikovsky?” We all laughed ridiculously, and sarcastically replied “no”. We eventually convinced her to sing some Russian tunes for us, which was as equally amusing as her tour commentary.

After sight-seeing we were famished, and many were eager to watch the Germany vs. Spain World Cup game. Most of the members congregated at a pub a few blocks away from the hotel, but there wasn’t enough room for the group that I was with (Johan, Elina, Leann, and Wictor), plus the amount of smoke in the pub was disgusting. It took us awhile to find an open restaurant, but we finally stumbled upon a nice little place with a few young, helpful waiters and a TV with the game. Germany lost, but we were happy after some pizza and beer.

Kindness and shoes

Over the years, I have acquired the skills to organize multi-layered projects with ease and confidence…however, I still have the annoying ability to forget the simplest things on a daily basis. Hence, after the concert last night in Latvia, I walked out of the hall in my “street clothes” and concert shoes, leaving my nice sandals in the ladies dressing room.

I noticed the improper footwear at about 11pm back at my the hotel room. My phone doesn’t work here, so I skype-texted one of the orchestra staff members asking them to pick up the sandals (they always go through the dressing rooms after the concerts and present the lost and found the next day on the buses…which once included a bra being waved around for the entire orchestra’s amusement, poor forgetful girl!) Later, when I met the staff in the hotel lobby they said that they had already left the concert hall when they got the message, but had seen my sandals and assumed they belonged to one of the women in the orchestra that plays there permanently. Dang it!

My first option was to return to the concert hall that night to see if anyone was still there. I was a bit apprehensive; walking the streets of Riga by myself at night wasn’t at the top of my “to-do in Latvia” list. However, I had no choice (they were leather sandals from Arvid!) and no one was willing to accompany me (obviously no one else was raised in America where adults preach to young woman that walking in a city at night alone is a big, old no-no). Against my better judgment I made the 15 minute walk back to the concert hall.

There were only a few blocks where I felt uncomfortable, and once I got to the city square I felt fine (aside from the frustrations with my forgetfulness!) To my dismay, the entire building was pitch black and no one answered my pounding on the back doors leading into the back stage area. Defeated, I made my way back to the hotel where a Long Island Ice Tea was waiting for me at the bar purchased by the sympathetic Leann.

So, because I am stubborn, I woke up early this morning to trudge back to the concert hall to solve the case of the forgotten footwear. Ellen, an orchestra staff member, discovered that there would definitely be a security guard on duty and possibly a custodial staff to let me into the building. When I arrived at the building there was a friendly looking old man sitting behind the ancient looking, tiny, wooden security post at the bottom of the winding stairs that climbed 4 floors above to the stage. I approached him and introduced myself.

I tried to speak clearly and said that I was an orchestra member from the concert the previous night and had forgotten something in the ladies dressing room. I showed him my badge, which he took and slowly, but proudly, read the words printed on my tag:

“Baaaaal-tic ooth Phil-harm-own-ich - Maria Fin-L-mer”

Clearly, he didn’t speak English, but was very proud of his reading accomplishment. I nodded wildly in approval of his efforts. Then, a very interesting exchange of English, Latvian, and my own personal sign language system began…I think at one point it looked as though I was stripping when trying to help him get “women’s dressing room”

We eventually began to understand each other and he said to go upstairs and find a cleaning lady to let me into the room (well, I’m pretty sure that’s what he said…haha) I climbed the spiral, wooden staircase and found an elderly woman sweeping the stage floor. As soon as I opened my mouth to ask her for assistance, she began to laugh. She knew less of my language that the security guard. This had turned into quite the task!

After 5 more minutes of sign language and such, I gathered that she didn’t have the key and I needed to visit the old man downstairs once again. At least I was getting some exercise! Back down I went, and after some “small talk”, I attained the key (which I hoped was the right one) and climbed the creaking stairs again. Success! The key worked and my lovely sandals (they are so comfortable and cute!) were there waiting.

I thanked the cleaning lady as I made my way back down by smiling, giggling, and waving the shoes. When I returned to the security desk, the man came out from behind the desk, talked at me for a moment in a happy tone, gave me a hug, and said “auf wiedersehen”. I smiled, laughed at my ignorance, thanked him, and repeated the German farewell.

I appreciated the kindness of the old man and woman so much. They could have easily sent me away, and considered me rude for not knowing their language. Instead they went out of their way to help me. I know they are just shoes, but they were one of the first gifts from Arvid. I was very happy to have them back in my possession, and delighted to encounter some wonderful Riga locals.

9.8.10

play by play

Tuesday, July 6
6:30am: wake up (3 girls in one room + packing + breakfast)

8am: bus from Parnu, Estonia to Riga, Latvia (I was super cranky, so I slept the entire way)

11am: arrive at hotel in Riga, drop off luggage, walk into town center for lunch

11:45am: lunch at Small Guild (building that looked like a brand new castle, like a fake one you'd find at Disney World)

12:15pm: percussion set-up at Large Guild (concert hall)

1pm: begin rehearsal/run through of “B” program

4:15pm: finish rehearsal, walk back to hotel, check-in, shower, get ready for concert
6pm: dinner at Small Guild (left-overs from lunch?! fab.)

6:30pm: coffee/dessert in town square with Eline and Danish Maria

7:15pm: crazy downpour begins, over-pay 2 bike taxis (with covers) to take us to concert hall. Get very, very wet, but better than if we had walked.

8pm: concert! "B" progam

10:30pm: done. walk back to hotel

11:00pm: ugh! realize I forgot my sandals at the concert hall, text Ellen, talk to staff, seen but not picked up

11:30pm: walk back to concert hall, it is closed

Midnight: Leann buys me a much needed Long Island

12:45am: talk to Arvid on skype

Estonia

On Saturday we took a personal charter flight to Estonia. The seating was open, and I ended up sitting with two Lithuanian guys that I hadn’t talked to yet. Their English was great, but I was struggling with the pronunciations of their names. So, in true American fashion, I gave them cool rapper names. And so began a very hip trio: Cello G, K Duck, and M Drums. It was a fun little flight!
When we arrived in Tallin we were immediately loaded onto two buses. Up to this point, I’ve been lucky with choosing the “right” bus…but it seemed as if my luck ran out. The bus had NO air conditioning, and the temperature was unbearable. I couldn’t even sleep! I was so frustrated and cranky! After two hours, we pulled up to our accommodation…and I the first words out of my mouth were, “does Motel mean the same in Estonia as it does in America?”

Our “Motel” wasn’t too bad (thank goodness!)…but was forced to get used to the no AC thing really quickly! It was more like an extended stay place. The room was decorated with flowers and quilts, but the bathroom was fine and we were the only group in the place. The best part about the Motel was that it was right across the street from a grocery store, and a 20 minute walk from the beach.

Estonia is a mix between Scandinavia, America, and a little bit of Russia. I was amazed at how the country is becoming Americanized since its gained its independence (as Aunt B and I learned on our bus tour in March!) Walking around and exploring was very comfortable, and since we had a 3 nights there we made the best of it. Each night, most of the orchestra went to the beach or gathered in the common area of the Motel. The first night at the beach, Wictor goes “Wow, this is just like Miami!” I sarcastically agreed, but the Baltic sure can look familiar with the club music, cafes on the boardwalk and lounge chairs around. However, the French boys in Speedos quickly reminded me that I’m definitely in Europe :)

We did a lot of rehearsing along with the concert in Parnu. We got into our “B” program more (so I was busier) and took advantage of a nice concert hall. The concert was really powerful, and my favorite part was watching Neemi Jarvi’s face (Kristjan’s father, a very famous conductor. They are Estonian) while we played “Rite of Spring” It was the first time I really felt emotional moved my playing in this group!